P52 Week 8 - Low Light

What do I do when I feel like my light is low – feeling un-centered, low energy. What are ways that I bring out my light?

I tidy a little, maybe go through a drawer and clean out one of my many piles. There’s a sense of satisfaction that comes with taking care of something that’s been bugging me for some time: like getting my taxes done; like completing and submitting my PNWA (Pacific Northwest Writers Association) literary contest entry; like boiling the beets that have been sitting around for over a week; like wiping out that crusted milk stain in the fridge that I’ve been looking at for days. For now, every time I open the fridge I have a frisson of pleasure at seeing a clean shelf. When I eat the beets, I soften knowing that I have saved the red veg from an early demise in the compost. When I hear others whining about not having done their taxes, I feel a huge sense of relief that mine are all done. When I think of having accomplished a PNWA contest entry, I feel a glow of contentment. And those little body senses of relief and pleasure, glow and softening add up to brighten my inner low light.

So getting things done is one way I brighten my inner light. Listening to music is another way. Right now I am listening to my Hawaiian Radio station on Pandora. This resources me in two ways: first, it is music, sweet music that fills me up and resonates in my body and second, it brings me to my tropical Hawaiian beach nature place that I love and that also fills me.

I have used the term ‘resourcing’ and for me it has a quite specific meaning. In the somatic/neurobiology field that I have studied, it is a physiologic state known as the Optimal Arousal Zone where the best learning, best creativity and deepest social interaction can be achieved. In even more technical terms it is when the ventro-vagal part of the neuro-endocrine system is activated. It is a place where I am neither over-activated – as when I am in an adrenalin rush or chronic stress mode – or under-activated – as when I check out or dissociate.

I am outside the Optimal Arousal Zone when I am in a low light mode. Under-activated, I am usually numb, ‘bored,’ or unmotivated. At the other end of the low light mode – when I’m over-activated – I feel stressed, worried or riled up about something. I sense it as a hint of a churn in my gut, tenseness in my jaw, itching on my skin. In this mode, my light is ‘burnt out,’ depleted, and I know I am overdue for refueling.

So, I add watts to my low light or ‘resource’ with music or getting chores done. I also find resources in meditating, nature, literature and movies, moving about taking walks or working out, and spending time with beloved friends and family.

What are ways that you ‘resource’ yourself, build up your inner light when you are in a low light mode?