P52 Week 13 - Lines

I turned 65 this week and the Project 52 prompt has allowed me to muse about the various ‘lines’ in my life.

The first lines that immediately came to mind are the florid dermatologic varieties that have been etched through the decades. Easiest to spot, of course, are the wrinkle lines on my face. I espied the first wretched one in my mid-thirties as I glanced up from my daughter’s nursery dresser drawer to the mirror above. “That’s not too bad a one,” I told myself in an attempt to rationalize. “It’s only a laugh line about my eyes; it shows character.” My vanity wasn’t appeased, though, and became increasingly alarmed as I looked at my face over the following weeks and months. With growing horror, I saw that the wrinkle lines had begun to multiply and proliferate.

Laugh lines – hardly funny at all – appeared not only around my eyes, but also about my mouth. Furrow lines grew on my brow as if to dress down the cheeky laugh lines. But there were even more lines waiting in the wings and these insufferable blights, hashtagging my cheeks were the hardest to bear. “Hell’s bells,”– and even worse expletives – I muttered, “This is a full on wrinkle pandemic!”

When I dared to venture beyond my face and examined the rest of my figure, other time worn lines became evident. My belly had grown new lines: ridges of fat. My outstretched upper arms now hung with arced lines, shaped like cereal bowls. Wrinkle lines punctuated the sag of my butt. Lightning bolt stretch lines festooned my thighs as did the tiny circular lines of my cellulite dimples – not the cute kind at all.

Yes, I’ve had issues with my body image, but despite that, I am grateful that I have been able to look beyond my physical lines and to the broader timeline of my life. There, I have experienced many up and down lines – who hasn’t? I have had down lines: challenges growing up, in my relationships and in my work. My self worth has been rather rocky – my body image not withstanding. But I have also had up lines: growth and aware times, periods filled with laughter and joy. All of these experiences have infused my being with meaning and purpose.

Over this week – my birthday week – the full robust picture of my time line has been highly visible. My son and daughter-in-law hosted a delicious family dinner and gifted me with a new Australian wool blanket to replace the threadbare one that I’ve treasured for over fifty years. On my actual birthday, my son and granddaughter dropped by with a nosegay of their garden grown daffodils and tulips, and greetings poured in from friends and relatives all over America, Australia and Hungary. On my birthday evening, my daughter treated me to dinner and a fabulous Maroon 5 concert. I felt proud to be hip enough, for I was familiar with most every song they sang. That night I had a seminal dream confirming and reaffirming my worth. I awoke with a knowing glow and with joy radiating in my body that lingered throughout the day. My dear friend invited me to high tea and afterwards we walked in the gorgeous Seattle Arboretum adorned with the fresh greens and pastels of spring. And my birthday celebrations are to continue over the next couple of weeks.

I look at my life and I can honestly say this is perhaps the happiest I’ve ever been. I have balance: I enjoy free time; I devote time to being in service and giving back; I relish my relationships with my children, my granddaughter and with friends; my work is fulfilling; my body is healthy and fit; I explore the sacred in nature and music and throughout my life and I pursue a creative edge with my writing.

So, if the aging lines on my body are evidence of my life’s timeline – what I have overcome, achieved and celebrated over the past sixty-five years – then bring ‘em on!