The textures of our
lives….
Last week my blog
entry was about whining and whingeing. This week, I am eating humble pie.
For many years I
have been involved with One to One Women
Coaching Women, http://onetoonewomen.org/
a nonprofit whose mission statement is to assist women emerging from
challenging circumstances to achieve their life goals. I’ve served in many
capacities: on the board; as Director of Coach Services; helping to develop training
manuals and supervision modules, as well as coaching a number of clients. As
you can see by my involvement, I believe whole-heartedly in what One to One wants to accomplish: changing the world, one woman at a time.
More recently One to One has begun a program to provide
coaching for a specific group of women: the caregivers of wounded veterans. I
have helped to provide trauma training and mentoring for the volunteer coaches
in order to better prepare them to serve this special group of clients.
These young wives
care for their veteran husbands with a wide range of disabilities: amputations,
paralysis and chronic pain. Most of them suffer from PTSD (post traumatic
stress disorder) and many of them from TBI (traumatic brain injury.)
These women deal
with their veterans when they have flashbacks, when they have blackouts and
when they get violent. When the vets have TBI that causes memory loss, their
wives remind them – often hundreds of times a day. They advocate for their men
by dealing with the problematic and frustrating VA system with all its
unresponsiveness and flaws. In addition, many of these women have young
children to care for and, astonishingly, hold down jobs and provide support for
other veteran wives as well.
These caregivers
care for their men day in and day out. They do not have a limited tour of duty
– theirs is a life-long commitment. They are the unsung heroes of our military.
Their lives are
hardly what they imagined and what they bargained for when they fell in love
and said “I do…. through sickness and in health.”
Despite the
challenges, these caregivers persevere with devotion.
With coaching, these
women find an ally with whom they can share deeply – often for the first time. They
feel understood and fully listened to. Their coaches provide a forum for
exploring self-care, for problem solving and for planning ahead. Our One to One coaches are providing a safe
place for these caregivers: a sanctuary where they are listened to; where they can
share their joys, angsts and sorrows; where they can develop and practice
coping skills; where they can formulate their dreams and plans.
I feel honored to
mentor such amazing coaches.
And I am humbled: compared
to what these caregivers of veterans are dealing with, I have little to whinge
about.
Humbled, as am I. Terrific work. You must be learning a great deal.
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